Halloween Special: Top 5 Underrated Goth Hotties

 Summer’s come to a close and I’m starting to miss checking out surfers at the beach and looking for my next fling at an ice cream stand. But thankfully, fall is in full swing and it’s time to be on the lookout for the stars of the season: goths. It's October, so here’s a list of the most underrated gothic hotties in movies and tv shows.

Kicking us off at number 5 is Morpheus from Neil Gaiman’s Sandman on Netflix. I’ll be candid, I haven’t watched the show yet. But my own mother called me and told me that this adaptation of Sandman featured a hot goth, so he obviously had to make the list. I’ve seen enough screenshots to know that he’s a looker. Mr. Sandman, you are a dream.

Number 4 is Dr. Frankenstein. No, not the white-haired mad scientist with his ugly little assistant. I’m talking about Victor Frankenstein, the mysterious and brooding college student who spends his time holed up in his room reading. He is the ultimate dark academia boyfriend. He’s depressed and going insane; I want him.

Lily Munster is #3 on the list. It’s a shame that Lily Munster from The Munsters does not have the legacy of Morticia Addams. She is the ultimate gothic housewife. She does whatever she wants all day and is an adoring mother to her children. If I were married to Lily Munster, all of my problems would be solved.

Dorian Gray from Oscar Wilde’s The Portrait of Dorian Gray is number 2 on my list. Specifically, Dorian Gray from the 2009 film adaptation. He is Victor Frankenstein, but even more attractive. When he first comes to town, he is kind and a total hunk (just my type). As he realizes that the painting of him is aging instead of his body, he becomes reckless and downright promiscuous. Seriously, go watch this movie right now.

Coming in hottest at number 1 is Nadja from What We Do in The Shadows, a show which I can only describe as The Office with vampires. Natasia Demetriou who plays Nadja is the funniest woman in Hollywood right now (Natasia please call me). Nadja works hard (owns a vampire nightclub) and plays hard (gets drunk and watches Mamma Mia with her girlies). In short, she is everything I could ever want in a partner. Yes, she’s married, but that doesn’t bother either of us.

If you just can’t seem to meet a nice goth that you can spend the season with, I’m with you. So do what I do: make your favorite warm beverage, curl up on a cozy chair with a blanket, and watch anything featuring a cute goth. Now you’re ready for fall.